For Clergy and Faith Leaders
In any congregation there are likely to be a number of people who are currently being subjected to domestic abuse, or who have been subjected to it in the past.
There are also likely to be perpetrators of domestic abuse.
Safe in Faith provides training and information to help you respond more safely to situations of domestic abuse. The following information may be helpful but there are links to more information below.
Safe support for survivors:
If someone is in urgent danger
Call 999 immediately if someone is at imminent risk of harm
If children are involved: where possible follow your diocesan or faith community’s safeguarding policy. Where that is not possible, contact local social services or NSPCC
If someone needs an emergency injunction contact Rights of Women (link) or your local domestic abuse agency.
If someone is not in urgent danger
Listen without judgement
Provide a safe space for them to think about what they want to do
Offer information about where they can access support (do not give leaflets etc if it is unsafe for them to take them home)
Let them know you are available to listen to them again.
Reassure them that God loves them and wants them to be safe
Let them know that abuse is wrong, but do not criticize the perpetrator (this may make them feel like they have to defend their perpetrator)
Prioritise their safety
Do not promise full confidentiality as you may need to make a safeguarding disclosure
Unless it is a safeguarding disclosure, keep the information confidential. A victim may be at increased risk of harm if their perpetrator finds out they have spoken to someone about their abuse
Be non-directive - allow the person space to work out for themselves what is best.
Do not pressure the person to forgive their abuser. Focus on their safety
Other things you can do
Get to know your local domestic abuse agency so that you can make warm referrals.
Be aware that every time you preach, victims, survivors and perpetrators are likely to be listening. How might they interpret or use your words?
Responding safely to perpetrators
NEVER approach a perpetrator to discuss their abusive behaviour, even if you know them. There is a significant increase in risk if they know their victim has been talking to someone about the abuse
If someone approaches you because they are concerned that they are harming someone they love, signpost them to Respect Phoneline
Be aware that abusers can be very charming and manipulative. They will often blame their victim, or try to convince you that they have changed their ways. Do not assume that a perpetrator is now safe just because they have repented, or even if they have attended a behaviour change programme
Do not recommend couple counselling, family therapy or anger management programmes for perpetrators
Safeguarding
If a child or vulnerable adult is at risk, follow your diocesan or faith community’s safeguarding programme. For Catholic churches you can contact the Catholic Safeguarding advisory service here
Safe in Faith training events
To find out more about our free training events for clergy, religious or parish workers, please contact us
Safe in Faith Clergy Directory
A directory of trained clergy and religious leaders (male and female) who can provide brief spiritual support and signposting for survivors of domestic abuse. The directory will be launched in November 2022. To join or find out more about the directory contact us.
Useful Links
High-quality training to equip and enable churches to better respond to domestic abuse
A network of churches, standing together against domestic abuse and supporting survivors, designed to provide support and encouragement to leaders, as well as to help Christian survivors find a church where they can belong